Don’t feel stupid for missing him, even if he treated you like shit. You still had happy memories and you’re always going to miss them. Just get through each day and eventually it will get better, I promise. Eventually someone will come into your life and whether or not you realize it, they are going to be something special to you. Someone better will come along.
Mistake makes us human. Failure makes us stronger. Hope keeps us going. Love keeps us alive!